The Lawless Jacks
by Legacy of I
Summary: Oneshot: Gohan has finally graduated from High School, but before the ambitious scholar begins a life of studies and papers he has one last wild hair to get out of his system: Spending a day in the shoes of a criminal. But he wont do it alone, he has plans on getting a partner! None other than The Guardian of Earth himself!


**_The Lawless Jacks: A one shot by Legacy of I_**

 **** ** _((()))_**

 ** _Last day of school…_**

It was the last day of Gohan's senior year at Orange Star High. The time seemed to be ticking away like molasses as he sat at his desk tapping his No. 2 pencil. Only mere minutes stood between him and complete freedom.

 _Just a bit longer…_

After what seemed like an eternity the school bell finally rang, every student jumping from their desks and running for the school's exit. Gohan smiled as he joined the mass of kids carelessly leaving papers and supplies all over the floor. High school was over, done, completed. He was free to pursue life the way he wanted, to be a scholar, or great fighter, or hold a boring desk job. It was his to choose, but he had only one idea in his head.

After joyfully skipping through the double doors to the high school, the newly graduated Gohan turned back and looked at the building one last time.

 _Farewell…_

"Nimbus!" he cried, the golden cloud shortly arriving afterward. The half-saiyan was ambitious to become a scholar, to make his Mom proud, but before he adapted to a life of books and studies he had one last thing to check off his freedom bucket list.

 ** _Later at the lookout…_**

"What!?" Dende exclaimed as shock painted his face frozen.

Gohan laughed, realizing how deranged and irresponsible the idea sounded; especially coming from him.

"Gohan, do you realize what you're asking me to do? I'm the guardian of Earth!"

He hadn't thought about it like that. Asking the guardian of Earth to join him in his wild hair did seem a bit oxymoronic. But his mind was set up.

"Yeah, it would only be for one day Dende. Then I'll resume my life of books and studies. But I want to get my kicks in while I'm young, so to speak."

The teenage namekian thought for a moment. He understood where his friend was coming from. He too was bored from sitting atop the lookout day after day without anything fun to do. Was it wrong? It was only for one day, right? Then everything would go back to normal. Everything would be set right.

" _If_ I say yes… what was the plan again?"

Gohan's hopes rose a bit. He didn't want to do it alone and Dende was the closest thing he had to a best friend besides Videl. Plus, Majin Buu was defeated and the world enjoyed peace again. Before they knew it some evil freak would want to destroy Earth or kill his Dad. Or both.

"The plan is that you and I create a gang name, something cool. Then we dress in suits and ties and live the life of a criminal for one day."

The guardian of Earth had to admit, it sounded fun. I mean they were the total exceptions to the rule. If anyone could do it and get away with it, it was them.

"Ok I'm in. But what will our name be?"

Gohan was ecstatic. He felt a lot less guilty having a partner to share in the sin.

"Well it has to be cool… How about something like Blood Brothers?"

Dende shook his head. It was too nice, too naive. It had to be something memorable.

"No, I think it should be something associated with crime, like weapons. We could call ourselves the .44 Mags."

Gohan nodded in approval. The name did sound menacing and memorable, but still off.

"I like it, but it needs to be slick. Like poker players or a stripper's pole."

Dende furled his brow at Gohan's weird analogy.

"Um… we'll go with the poker player analogy Gohan."

They began to think and brainstorm. What sounded slick?

"What about Weighted Dice?" Gohan asked. Dende couldn't help but revealing how stupid he thought the name was.

"Well then what's your bright idea 'Mr. Guardian of Earth?'"

"Well, I was thinking about crime and cards. So how about 'The Lawless Jacks'"

Gohan smiled and snapped his fingers in agreeance, but a frown soon followed.

"Wait, do you mean like the Lawless Jackasses?"

Dende slapped his forehead with the palm of his hand. The saiyan was book smart, but he was clearly still sheltered.

"No Gohan. I mean Jacks as in the playing cards. It sounds slick and cool; I think we should go with it."

Gohan cheered up and gave a grin of mischief. He loved the name, now it was time to live the life of crime.

 ** _At the clothing store…_**

Gohan and his partner Dende walked in and began searching for the perfect suits. They had to look as cool as they sounded.

"How about this one Gohan?" It was a white suite with a red tie, both slick and stylish for a criminal.

"No, what if we get dirt or blood on it?"

Dende's mouth hung agape in surprise.

"What the hell Gohan! You're planning on shooting people!?"

The saiyan winced at the volume of his partner's voice. It clearly attracted attention from the store manager and customers.

"Shut up!" He loudly whispered.

Dende clasped his mouth shut with his hands as the store manager made his way over to the duo.

"Excuse me gentlemen. Can I help you?" the manager asked in a suspicious tone.

"Um no sir, just picking out suites for uh… for…"

"For our wedding!" Gohan finished.

The manager raised one brow in distrust.

"You two are getting married?" he questioned.

"Um, yes sir! We just need suits. Ha ha… But when I said shoot I mean shooting video on our wedding night."

The manager walked closer and inspected the two gentlemen standing before him. He backed away and grunted.

Dende slapped Gohan and looked to the manager to clear things up.

"Sir what he means is that our wedding is held at night, and we wanted video of the guests and what not."

The Namekian then glared at Gohan

"He didn't mean the 'bedroom' wedding night."

The manager shook his head and backed away from the odd duo.

"Well who am I to judge, you would make a good couple."

He gave a fake smile and walked away, leaving Dende embarrassed and Gohan in shock.

"That guy thought we were marrying each other!?"

"Yeah genius." Dende shot back. "That's what it sounds like when you said 'we're getting married'" He finished the sentence in a low, dumb sounding voice that mocked Gohan.

The half-saiyan's face grew red as he retreated behind a clothing rack. "I think I'll take this suit…" he muttered in embarrassment.

 ** _Later that day…_**

The two wana-be criminals were now dressed up in sharp suites that were rather expensive, looking sharp with an even sharper name they decided to do one last thing. Get guns.

"Gohan, isn't kind of stupid that we bought these suits?"

The ambitious soon-to-be scholar pondered it and figured it kind of backwards that, as criminals, they bought their clothes.

"Well, we can steal the guns then?"

The snazzy namekian sighed at Gohan's lack of planning ahead.

"Great idea, steal from a freaking gun store instead of a small clothing shop…"

Gohan shrugged. If they were going to steal something it might as well be big.

"We need nicknames." The spiffy saiyan said after a period of silence.

"Ok, like what?"

Gohan smirked in pride. He already knew the answer to this one, that's what he was thinking about when school ended.

"I'm the 'Swindling Saiyan' and you're the 'Green Gangster' how about that?"

Dende was actually surprised at the level of thought on the names. With everything feeling amiss it was refreshing to have a more solid decision.

"Yeah, ok. Sounds good."

They walked down the street towards the local gun store, passing shops and cars. Gohan smirked and bent down next to a car and pulled his keys out.

"Watch this Green Gangster."

He began digging his key into the side of the car, creating a loud chalkboard effect. He was clearly writing something.

"And… there. How about that?" He asked as he stepped away from his art work. He had drawn a spade symbol and wrote LJ in it.

"What is it?" Dende asked.

"Well it's the spade symbol; I figured we could be the Jack of spades. And LJ stands for Lawless Jacks."

The little green gangster was impressed. It was a cool logo, and it was original.

"Good work partner."

 ** _At the gun store…._**

Dende put his hand out to stop Gohan. They had entered the shop, but he had a plan.

"Gohan…" he whispered. "Go in the bathroom and go super saiyan, that way if you're caught on camera they can't recognize you."

The 'Swindling Saiyan' smiled and ran to the bathroom, attracting attention yet again.

"Is your friend ok?" The cashier asked.

"Oh yeah, he has butt problems."

The cashier chuckled.

"Butt problems?"

"Yeah, I mean indigestion, that kind of thing."

He walked up to the counter and looked into the display case.

"So, what are you looking for?"

Before Dende could ask loud grunting and yelling was heard from the bathroom. It was Gohan going super saiyan.

"Is your friend ok?" The heavy bearded man asked, clearly disturbed by the noises.

"Uh… Yeah he-"

Dende was interrupted by another series of grunts and yells.

"I'll be right back sir." Dende excused himself and ran into the bathroom after Gohan.

"What the hell man?" the green criminal shortly asked, frustrated with Gohan's obvious weirdness.

"Sorry Dende, the power from going super saiyan just busted this toilet, I was just mad…"

Dende noticed the broken toilet laying in pieces as water and crap floated out of the stall.

"Damn… just great."

The two friends tried to clean up the mess before they were busted. Grunted and yelling from frustration and disgust. They couldn't let the water seep out into the store. But after a while the floor was cleaned with their suits intact. They then re-entered the store.

"Sorry about that sir, now where were we?" Dende asked as normal as possibly, trying to act like nothing happened. The two criminals were afraid of being busted, but that's not what ran though the cashier's head. All the noise was plain weird.

"Yeah… Ok. Like I said what do you want?"

Before Dende could answer Gohan vanished and reappeared behind the cashier, knocking him out cold.

"Good work Gohan."

They then looked though the cases and found the guns they wanted. They had to be hand held so they can be easily concealed, but awesome at the same time.

"I found mine Dende."

"Yeah me too."

Gohan pinched and busted the lock off the display case to retrieve his gun, but it triggered an alarm

"Great, now what?"

The duo quickly grabbed their guns and bolted down the street, ducking into a nearby alleyway to avoid the coming police. They had escaped intact. Not a moment too soon.

The police came rolling up and opened their doors as shields.

"Come out with your hands up!" The chief shouted. By now several cops came up and aided in catching the robbers. Little did they know that their fast dealing criminals were watching nearby.

"Ok Gohan looks like we can go."

They both let out a sigh of relief and set out away from the authorities. But one thing stopped them in their tracks…

"The video camera!" They shouted in unison.

They peeked around the alley corner to find a swarm of police getting ready to enter the store.

"Crap! What do we do? If they get the tape- Gohan! You're still a super saiyan!"

Gohan jumped and returned to normal. He looked different again, different than the guy that would show up on the tape.

"Ok, we should go. They'll see the blonde me, but now I'm black me."

Dende sighed. He knew they would see him on the tape and his job as guardian would be over or at least forever tainted. Then he remembered a trick Piccolo taught him.

"Watch this."

The namekian focused on where the cameras were in the shop, concentrating his energy. He finally widened his eyes as they flashed, the cameras exploding into pieces.

"Yeah! It worked! Thank you Piccolo!"

Dende jumped in joy and landed a small punch on Gohan's arm.

"Let's get out of here."

 ** _Grand Theft Auto…_**

The Lawless Jacks now had a sweet look and rad weapons. With confidence embellishing their gun store success the criminal duo decided they had bigger fish to fry.

"Where too now partner?" Dende asked in enthusiasm as he began walking backwards to look cool.

"I always wanted to steal a car."

The Green Gangster clapped his hand together in acceptance as he plotted the heist.

"So, what car do you want to boost?" he asked in anticipation. The Guardian of Earth was now starting to enjoy this way more than he ever though he would.

"We need a fast car! A sports car, an expensive one!" Dende began.

Gohan nodded along thinking of the right one.

"I know Gohan! There is only one car we should boost!"

"Which one is that?"

"Hercule's private sports car."

Gohan stopped in his track to slap the green criminal on the back of his head.

"We can't boost that car! That's my girlfriends Dad's car!"

Dende rubbed the back of his head in discomfort. He forgot Videl and Gohan were dating.

"What are you a woos?" He teased.

Gohan rolled his eyes and put his hands on his hips.

"No, but if I'm caught she'll dump me and Hurclue will forever hate me! That's a bad thing Dende!"

The smooth talking namekian smiled and figured a way to get his accomplice to agree.

"Yeah, but if you steal it, you can pretend to get it back and she'll love you! Then you two can *wink* *wink*"

Gohan immediately blushed and turned his back to him. He folded his arms in detest, he would never… would he?

"How would you even know about that Dende? You spit up freaking eggs that hatch into green regenerating… regenerating… things!"

Dende shrugged then elbowed Gohan who ended up rolling his eyes.

"No."

"Come one Gohan."

"No."

"*wink* *wink* Gohan." He tried to persuade.

He sighed and turned back around.

 _What am I getting myself into…_

 ** _Satan's residence…._**

The duo crouched behind a bush that hid them but yet gave them a clear line of sight to the target.

"Ok Gohan, you know the plan?"

The half-saiyan was still hesitant, but he was already committed.

"Yeah, I walk up to the door and distract Videl and her Dad while you jimmy the lock. Then when I hear the car start up I act like its being stolen and chase after the crook. I jump in the car leaving them to think I'm getting it back, and then you and I go for a joy ride."

Dende nodded and gave him a pat on the back. This was so much better than the lookout life.

The Green Gangster jumped over the bushed and sneaked up to the car while Gohan straightened his tie and took a deep breath.

Knock Knock

He stood anxiously waiting for the door to open.

"Oh, hello Gohan!" Videl said in a happy surprised tone.

"Uh… Hi Videl how's it going?"

She gave a small chuckle and smiled.

"It's going good. Do you want to come in?"

 _Hurry up Dende…_

"Gohan?" she repeated, noticing he wasn't responsive.

"Oh. Yeah no thanks I'm just here to say hi."

"Gohan are you ok? You're acting funny. And what's with the suite? That usually means someone died or bad news…"

The nervous criminal gulped and felt sweat beginning to bead at his forehead.

"Y-yeah I'm ok. I just uh…"

Videl gasped and glared at him with anger.

"Your cheating on me aren't you!"

Gohan waved his hands around signaling she got it all wrong.

"No no Videl of course not! I just…"

She gave him a death stare that melted the soft saiyan to the core.

"The truth is-"

A car was heard starting up in the distance. Dende had gotten in.

"What's that? Ha ha ha… It sounds like your cars getting stolen! I wonder who it could be! I should stop him!" He was completely unconvincing.

The Swindling saiyan turned and ran off, no more stepping off the front porch as the car came slowly putting by.

Gohan was able to walk faster than the car was going. They were blowing their cover.

"Gohan what's going on?" She asked.

He shrugged and looked in the car.

"You're blowing our cover man!" He loudly whispered to Dende.

"I know Gohan! The thing is a damn standard!"

At that moment the champ himself came to the door to see his private sports car being boosted.

"What's going on here!?" He shouted, walking up to the car.

"You! What the hell do you think you're doing green man!?"

Gohan was ready to ask for forgiveness, but Dende had other plans. In an act of desperation the namekian shot a ki blast that sent Hurcule flying back into the house and crashing into a china cabinet.

"Gohan!" Videl screamed as her Dad lay unconscious. Before the ruined saiyan could explain Dende shot another blast that sent Videl to the same fate.

"What was that you idiot!" Gohan screamed.

"Get in man we gotta go!"

At that moment some of the champ's personal guards (who had special connections to the police) came running up after hearing the commotion.

"Intruders! Murderers! Thief's!" he cried while blowing a whistle. Gohan panicked and jumped in the car and took the wheel.

"Scoot over!" He cried. Dende scooted to the passenger's side as Gohan put the car in gear and took off.

"Did you hear him? Were intruder, thief's and murders!" Gohan cried while speeding out of the courtyard and onto a main road.

"We didn't kill anyone. But we could have."

"What the hell is wrong with you man! Your plan went totally south and now we're fugitives on the run, my love life is over, and we have useless guns!" Gohan screamed as he waved the .44 magnum around.

"I mean we don't even have any damn bullets genius!"

Dende slumped into his seat. It did all go wrong. He pushed to do something way out of their skill level and now they were caught. Before they could figure out what to do a mass of cop lights appeared in the rear view mirror.

"Great, the whole force is on our tail…"

"It was your idea Gohan."

The saiyan slapped his forehead. What was he thinking? It sounded so much better at the lookout. There had to be a way to fix this.

"Pull over!" came a voice over the intercom. The cops were closing in and there were way too many to out run.

"We have to do something Gohan!"

The saiyan gripped the steering wheel and made a sharp turn. His crafty maneuver threw off several cops, but not enough.

"Pull over now!" The cop shouted again. This time they began firing their weapons at the Lawless Jacks.

"Gohan!" Dende yelled as the bullets whizzed by. While the two of them can't get hurt from guns, the car can.

"I know Dende, I know!"

He made another sharp turn and weaved through traffic trying to lose the cops.

 _It's no good… Damn it!_

They were persistent, especially when it came to protecting the world champion.

"Dende I have an idea…"

The green gangster was up for anything at this point. There was no going back.

"There is a bridge coming up. I'm going to run the car into the lake so that when they recover the car they see it empty and know we escaped."

"How will _that_ help!?" Dende pressed.

"Listen to me!" He made another sharp turn, making his way to the bridge.

"Look in the glove box!"

Dende opened it and saw a deck of playing cards. Mr. Satan used this car to go to casinos to gamble. What Dende held was the key to all his gambling success, a fixed deck.

"Open it up and find the Jack of spades."

Dende fumbled through the deck until he found their signature card.

"Ok got it, now what?"

"There should be a pen in there too."

Dende looked again and found the ball point pen. He opened it up and looked to Gohan for direction.

"Now write on there 'The Lawless Jack Gang.' Hurry!"

Dende wrote their gang name on there and stuck it back in the glove box. He looked at Gohan with hope. They were now at the bridge, and with both of their futures on the line the car plunged into the river. Hopefully covering up their crimes…

 ** _A few days later…_**

"Dende! I'm glad you could make it over!" Chi Chi complimented. After hearing what happened to the Satan family she decided to make supper for everyone. Goku, Vegeta, Gohan, Goten, Dende, Hurcule, Videl, Bulma, and Trunks were all there. Dende gave a shy smile and took a seat across from Gohan.

It was really nice that Chi Chi was doing this, but it made the guardian feel so much worse. He did notice, however, his saiyan partner being looked at by his girlfriend.

"So you tried to stop them then?" Videl finally asked, unable to bear the confusion any longer.

"Yeah, Dende and I were in the area and saw it happening. Those maniacs did some real damage; I can't believe you thought we did it."

Hurcule gave an embarrassed laugh. "Yeah… sorry about that kid. All I remember was you and the green guy. I didn't stop to think you were helping."

Chi Chi put some food on the table and smiled.

"Well I for one think it was brave that my son tried to save the day!" she looked at her future scholar with pride. It only deepened the guilt that Gohan had.

"Yeah, my Gohan is wonderful!" Videl complimented. Goku and Vegeta were stuffing their faces while Gohan and Trunks were out playing.

"Yeah it was a good thing you two were there. Its ashamed they still got away though." Bulma added.

Gohan gulped and shook his head. He had to confess or forever live with the guilt.

"Guys, there's something I need to tell you…" Before he was able to speak though Bulma interrupted. She had been on her phone looking online and found an article on the incidence.

"Hey guys look at this! I found an article on the car theft. Here is what it says."

Everyone gathered around to listen. Gohan and Dende were sweating bullets.

"It says that the car was recovered and the drivers escaped. Where they went the police have no clue, but they left evidence behind. There were two hand guns but no bullets, and in the glove box of the car they found a playing car, a Jack of spades specifically. On it was written 'Lawless Jack Gang.'"

She scrolled down and kept trading the article.

"It says here that this was the boldest criminal attempt in the history of Hurcule City."

Bulma ended and looked up.

"It looks like the Lawless Jacks are insanely famous now. They are going to go down in history."

Everyone was glad and shocked at the new findings. Gohan and Dende however looked at each other with overwhelming joy.

 _Never tell_ Gohan mouthed to Dende. The Green Gangster nodded and smiled. It looks like they got away clean.

"What were you going to saw sweetie?" Chi chi asked.

Gohan rubbed the back of his head like his father.

"Oh! I was just going to say cheers to justice and to the good doers of the world!" It was really cheesy, but they all raised their glasses to Gohan's toast. Their future looked bright again.

Somethings are best left in the past…

 ** _I hope this put a smile on your face or at least made you laugh, that was the whole intention of writing this humorous and lighthearted Oneshot. If you liked it let me know and I might write some more! XD_**


End file.
